Discord
by sundaeflower
Summary: Nuala was no saint and Nuada would never be one.
1. be more like me and less like you

_Hello everyone!_

 _This is a short collection of oneshots following the life of Princess Nuala & Prince Nuada. Sometimes I will dive deeper into some of the movie scenes (emotionally, I mean). Updates will be irregular and there's no chronological order. Please note that English is not my native language, so let me know if there are any spelling or grammar errors._

 _I'm open for any kind of constructive criticism._

 _Feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy!_

#

She remembered happier days.

Days in which her brother was cocky but charming, even rude sometimes and full of positive energy. He seemed to glow with it from the inside out and Nuala couldn't get enough, she couldn't help but to be infected by it.

Now this bright energy was gone, like a candle burning for far too long. It just vanished and seemed to be replaced with something more sinister, much darker. But still she could see the light in him, shimmering pale and weak in the back of his clouded, dark mind, but not able to survive on its own. He would always need her, she knows that now. He's broken and she doesn't know how to fix him.

And it saddens her deeply.

Her mind reaches out to brush Nuadas as it always did to reassure her. But it was like pulling the strings of an instrument which is out of tune. There's no harmony, just discord. And she could feel it etching deeper from her mind into her bones, enclosing her whole being until she would be left in shreds.

In these times the only thing she remembers is an empty space in her head and a faint, distant voice whispering ‚ _Who am I_?'. But that was not important anymore. Was it ever? She doesn't remember.

Sometimes she thinks about how she's his only shelter, his only place of hiding, and it is terrifying. She knew she was barely a shadow of herself, there was just Nuada, filling her up until nothing was left of her.

She never got the heart and strength to shut her brother out of her mind and she also found she did not want to.

He was feeding his soul to her, bit by bit. And she was slowly fading into him.


	2. I will be the death of you

Nuada never thought that Nuala would be the one to kill him.

He had faced death countless times, covered knee-deep in blood and dirt, but he was never – ever – unprepared for it. But when a sharp pain tugged at his heart and he heard the sound of golden metal hit the ground, he knew that this was destiny.

Light always overcomes darkness.  
(It is only a question of time.)

In that moment he held no grudge, anger or hatred towards his sister for she only did what he could never stop to do.

A sacrifice for a greater good.

A sudden silence engulfs him, surrounds him and overshadows his thoughts and feelings. For a short period of time he knows peace which feels like an eternity to him. He feels disconnected and at the same time complete on a whole new level.

His heart is beating loud and heavy in his chest and for a moment it is the only sound he hears. It's almost like Nuala isn't even there. Like no one is there at all. There's no him and no her.

No polarities, no boundaries, no tug of war.

And for the very first time they share one heartbeat.


	3. Keep walking on broken glass

Her eyes were always full of compassion and forgiveness when he met her gaze. And that will haunt him forever.

 _Forgiveness._

What did he ever do that needs to be forgiven? Didn't he do _everything_ for their people, their land? Couldn't she see? Though there's a tiny spark of guilt in him whenever she had that _look_ in her eyes, he never wavered.

Never allowed himself to.

»How? How could you agree to built the Golden Army? It will destroy our race. It is a monstrous thing.«

»It only serves one purpose. To keep our kind alive.«

»You're murdering innocents!«

»Innocents? Is that what you prefer to call the scum that poisons our water, our sacred land, our _people_? They are by all means no innocents.«

»You can't blame all of them. What of the children? What of the young ones who can not yet care for themselves?»

»They are already poisoned. You will have to accept that. You know that all of them are empty, guilty creatures from birth.«

„With your actions you already made yourself as guilty as them. Don't you see it, brother? You cannot fight fire with fire. You have to remove your consent!»

»I will not change my mind.«

Nuala stayed silent and watched her brother with a heartbroken expression on her face.

„Very well then. If this is the path you wish to choose, follow it. Even if I will not walk by your side."

Somehow she's lost her faith in him and he's not able to get it back. But her love's still unwavering and strong like an oceans wave clashing against a hard rock without breaking it, only shaping it very softly - or at least trying to.

He closed his eyes and savored the feeling of warmth and comfort that flowed from her to him. There's a sadness right underneath all the love she feels for him. But it's not enough to erase the sickness that lives inside him.

She was always his source of eternal grace, honor and solace, something he looked up to, even admired. Even as children Nuala was almost a mother to him (especially after their mother was gone), a role model he looked up to.

 _»For you sister, anything.»_

Soon he would find out that his sister couldn't find the same intent within her heart anymore.


	4. I'm the reason for your blindness

It has always been their mission to keep each other from falling apart. He had the stronger bones and Nuala the stronger heart.

They fit perfectly together like two sides of the same coin. He is the one who protects both of their bodies with utterly devoted care while she is left to put the broken pieces of their hearts together, healing the pain they willingly inflict on each other.

It was a silent arrangement.

Nuada's liking to the broken things was just as strong as his fondness of creating a battlefield for himself. He loved to repair and create tiny little things with his slender elven hands, but still he desired destruction.

Most of the time when they were younger she was blind to the darkness surrounding him. Deeper and deeper she fell into his abyss and couldn't help herself.

It's much easier to just fall in line than to believe that her brother has become a monster and her feelings weren't entirely her own anymore.

She tried multiple times to push against the boundaries of their shared link; desired the same things her brother did _so much_ it hurt. But soon she learned that she couldn't.

She was useless with a sword in her hand. Confused by the emptiness in her heart.

There seemed to be a barrier between them, something she couldn't overcome by simply trying.

Frustrated tears began to well in her eyes.

In the quiet of the night he would whisper to her stories about the humans, who live above the ground in iron cities with mechanical hearts. She was a keen listener and she wanted to believe what her brother said. Slowly she let him poison her mind, leading her far away from happy days when humankind once lived peacefully with the elves.

He never mentioned that and the humans that once lived here with them in the cave system where long gone.

A faded memory.

Sometimes she was afraid that when she woke up she would no longer be herself, but a distorted version of all her imagined sins. Sometimes she thought about how it would be to have her little brother back, even when he was standing just a feet away from her, but she was quick to discard that thought.

How foolish.

Once or twice she caught herself thinking about how the earth would be better off without any human being living on it.

She found herself deeply ashamed by her own thoughts, for she never wanted to take a life. At heart, she always was a very peaceful creature. Determined to be tolerant, loving and not judge anyone but herself.

„Am I a bad person?" Her voice was timid and Nuada could feel a crushingly hard wave of churning emotions from her, heartbroken. Her eyes shimmered like damaged glass that was soon to be shattered.

„No. They are the bad ones for being able to dirty your mind with thoughts like that. Look at what they've done! I told you. I can't do this without you. We are bound to each other, wouldn't it be best if we stand together?", he argued.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked at his determined expression, not displaying any conflict or doubt and she feels reassured. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

„You can count on me", she eagerly told him. He smiled and placed a soft kiss on her temple.

He was the last of the warrior elves, but she was the last and only one to know what pain it causes him.

Since it was her pain, too.


End file.
